Everyone Poops, Including President Trump


Ever wonder what subsisting entirely on a diet of well done steak drenched in ketchup and washed down with Diet Coke does to your digestive system? Well wonder no more, curious reader. Yesterday the President of the United States engaged in some toilet talk. However, this time it didn’t include two Russian hookers in a suite formerly occupied by Obama. Moreover, he focused on the difficulties posed by flushing the excrement incurred by bad diet and lack of exercise. Everyone poops, apparently including the President.

People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.


By “people”, he has to mean himself. Furthermore, this sheds some light on what the President is doing with all of that executive time. Apparently he spends about 20 minutes of it waiting for the tank to refill so he can send another gush of water into the john to flush his concrete turd out into the swamps of Washington D.C.

Everyone poops, including President Trump

Everyone poops, including Captain Obvious.

I have a family member who loves him some Trump. Lately, I’ve been ribbing him about some of the dumb stuff the President feels the need to explain. In this particular word salad of falsehoods and poorly structured sentences, President Trump dropped another gem.

There may be some areas where we’ll go the other route — desert areas — but for the most part you have many states where they have so much water — it comes down, it’s called rain. They don’t know what to do with it,

Rain, you say? I googled it. He’s right. When water falls from the sky, it is indeed called “rain”.

On an interesting and related note, have you noticed how obsessed the GOP has become with bathrooms? First they wanted to check my junk on the way in to make sure I’m a dude. Now, they want to come in the stall to see how many times I’m flushing. I get it. Everyone poops, but do we really need monitors in the bathroom?

You probably thought I was being hyperbolic when I said that the Republican party was going down the crapper. However, we now know that I was right. I just didn’t know that it took that many flushes to get them to go down.

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