STEVIL Answers Common COVID-19 Questions


I saw something interesting on Google today. Common questions for COVID-19, answered by the CDC. However, some of these questions are really stupid. So, I thought it would be fun to play a quick game of Stevil Answers Dumb Questions. Ready? Let’s go. Right after I state the obvious. This post is for entertainment purposes only, and contains no value of any kind.

1. Can someone who dies from COVID-19 be buried?

No. They must be sealed in a 50 gallon drum of pickle juice and launched into space the second Friday the 13th after a blood moon.

2. How much longer will the outbreak last.

3 months, 1 week, 4 days, 8 hours, 23 minutes, 18 seconds. Give or take.

3. How worried should healthy people be about getting infected with the coronavirus?

On a scale of “I think I’m getting a zit” to “North Korea just launched a nuke at us”, your worry level should fall in the “damn, that’s my husband” zone.

4. Can antibiotics treat COVID-19?

Like, to an ice cream cone? Go back to Porn Hub, idiot.

5. Can drinking alcohol kill the Coronavirus?

Thanks for reading my blog, Mr. President.

6. Can the Coronavirus spread through feces?

I’m not sure, but you might want to wear a mask while assuming your position behind Trump until this is over, Mr. Vice President.

7. Should I cancel my trip due to coronavirus?

That depends. As in travel or dropping acid?

8. How serious is the coronavirus disease?

On a scale of Al Gore to Ben Stein, it’s about a Joe Lieberman.

9. What happens if I get the coronavirus disease?

You start googling for answers to stupid questions. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

10. Can I wash homemade masks during the coronavirus disease.

Yes. But only homemade masks, and only during the coronavirus disease.

I hope you enjoyed this installment of Stevil Answers COVID-19 Questions. And remember, there are no stupid questions. Only stupid people asking questions. And yes, all of those questions were on Google’s list of common questions. These answers however, can only be found here.

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